Vulnerability
Last month I read an article on blogging and the importance of being vulnerable in your work/postings. Then I received a thoughtful message from a reader telling me how much she enjoyed reading my posts when I share stories about myself or my family, wondering if I would be sharing more. I’m one who believes there are signs all around you…but you need to be open to seeing them and listening. Ok! I’m listening…but this would mean I need to become more “vulnerable“, I need to reveal more of me, not just Mary as Gluten Free Spinner posting recipes and pictures.
When I started blogging Gluten Free Spinner in 2010, I made the decision not to expose too much…it’s a big world out there…don’t share too much. Great food & recipes with vivid pictures…that’s what people will want, keep it about the food. I’ve been careful not to mention personal names or give too much information…careful not to ‘expose’.
Yet as I thought about the article and the readers’ comments, I started to see if from another angle. I appreciated her taking the time to write to me, and I realized I also have more interest in a site when I feel a connection to the person writing the post. After all, who is that person behind those recipes and pictures? In a way, the readers are allowing you into their home as they prepare and trust your recipes. It only makes sense to share more of yourself, more of who you are with a peek into your home and your life.
So where do I begin…who is Mary, Gluten Free Spinner anyway?
I’m a Minnesota girl born to a very courageous woman who raised five children as a single parent in the 60’s and 70’s while working as a secretary and never taking a dime of assistance. Through her perseverance and strength I learned responsibility, work ethic, love, devotion, faith, empathy, honesty, integrity, how to care for each other, and ultimately, how to raise my own children. Though difficult at times, these life lessons are what made me who I am today and I have incredible gratitude for my mom.
This is my mom with me and three of my siblings, I’m in the red dress and tights. My youngest brother is included in the picture below.
And this picture shows the five of us kids.
Ages nine, five, four, three, and one.
How did she do it?
Along with the positive life-learning lessons, I also learned the difficult ones. I learned at times how it felt to be judged by others, I learned insecurity, self doubt, even discrimination, and I learned never to become too vulnerable. Instead I kept my thoughts in journals, since the 7th grade in fact, and that’s a lot of vulnerability! But journals are private…no one else reads your journal; they are for private thoughts.
The lessons I learned growing up guided me through the tough times as an adult. I found myself going through a divorce after 13 years of marriage, something I said I’d never let happen. But never say never…you just ‘never’ know. And as difficult as those times were, it was then that I became who I am today, who I really am as a woman and as an individual. The familiar quote, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is so very true. for me…those tough times saved me.
I’d like to think I’m fairly vulnerable to those who know me, and at this point in my life I’m pretty secure with who I am. This topic had me wondering how willing I’ve been to be vulnerable to those I don’t know…or those I’m just getting to know. Do I seem approachable? Am I someone they want to get to know? How much do you reveal when you meet someone and what’s too much?
As I learn to apply vulnerability to my posts…will I reveal too much? Will you like who you see? Will you share your thoughts in response to some of my most vulnerable posts? I guess it’s a chance I’ll take…I’ll open my heart and become a better blogger.
